today is definately not 'my' day.sigh.
still feeling very weak in school just now and i just felt like giving up.to pack my bags and go home.but then,there's this teeny weeny voice in me that says ''yana!relaxx ahr..skool's gona end soon.." and damn.that voice reli help's alot.hehe.even after i pop in my panadols and my other pill during recess,i still managed to stay awake when lessons were being taught in class.was trying my very best to stay awake as the pills i took cause drownsiness.
im sick and tired of retaking my malay o'level paper over and over again.i've been getting the same grade over and over again.but this time,a distinction in my oral.wow.big deal lerr.maybe to most people,having my grade would be the most happiest moment of your life but definately not to me.my family have high expectations on me and it just hurts so bad when i cant be happy like you people.i cant jump with joy.i cant call them and tell them happily about my grade.like just now,after talking to my mum and telling her about it.i hang up the phone and cry.they wont understand.they think im perfect.but i've put in my best.understand that.im in a state of dillemma now.sigh.god,sent me an angel.pls? =)
on top of everyting,i had a lil argument with my friend thru sms.urgh.one problem after another.apparently,he told me to mind my words just beacuse i said "for god sake?".i mean hello?that's an expression!and i cant help it cause i say that sometimes.that's like part of my vocab?my goodness! (that's an expression too k pple.*smiles ) and on top of that,he was like ''why are you giving me this stupid attitude?''this is what i hate.when u are nice,then people will be very rude to you. i dont deserve all that sey.i've been very nice to you and this aint your first time treating me like this.i understand the fact that u will give me back my stuff in two days time but does it hurt when i ask a couple of questions just to keep me convince?its my stuff.i just want to confirm on when i can have it back.why cant you understand that?
it doesnt pay to be nice.you just wont get the same treatment.rite pple?and if they hurt you,they'll apologise.then they will do it again.again & again.hmm..there will always be a voice in my head asking me to be patient and dont let my emotions to take control and then i have e habit of keeping everything in me and then i'll get angry at myself for that.for being so nice and understanding.i hate it.people just take me for granted.sigh.
was out with fyza just now.i was supposed to be resting at home coz of my headache but my dear best friend here reli needs someone to talk to so der i was.by her side.treat her to Andersen's ice cream.talk to her and everything.i hope my presence had enlightened her mood.and i was feeling slightly better too.wanna know why?ICE CREAM!!haha.mati sey.im not fully recovered yet and der i was indulging the heavenly ice cream,drinking all the cold drinks,sweets,fries..acting like a normal person.haha.i i only took my medicine once.and that was during recess.i am suppose to take it 3 times daily.hehe.noti patient..
ders so many things on my mind still.urgh.i dont feel at ease NOW.
i think e world is out to get me.
@ 11:38 PM
